The Social Stages of Young Adult Humans

I’ve observed the following steps in social development among myself, my peers and our younger friends…

Stage 1 – Bar Hopping
In this stage most of the social circle is single. By some tortured logic, they somehow believe that they’ll find a mate in a bar, so they spend their weekends going from bar to club, hoping for a random encounter that will provide a long-term relationship. This rarely works, but they convince themselves that they’re having fun, so they do it every weekend.

Stage 2 – Board Games
Eventually members of the circle begin to pair off. They find a relationship (probably somewhere other than a bar) and the bar scene looses its appeal. Suddenly sitting around at home with one or two other couples playing board games sounds inexplicably enjoyable. Its at this stage that they begin to understand how distasteful bar hopping really is, and those in the circle who are still clubbing, hoping to find a mate, are considered pathetic. However, the self-delusion continues, cause everyone knows board games aren’t really that fun either.

Stage 3 – Exhaustion
After being paired off for a few years, mates within the social circle will begin to reproduce. Children arrive, and when couples get together, its only to entertain their kids until they fall asleep. Social activity then consists of collapsing on the couch and staring blankly at whatever’s on TV. This is social only because no one has the energy to get up and go home.

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