Warning: Some parts of this post might be inappropriate for people without children, or the desire to have children

I don’t usually blog on Saturdays. But then again, we don’t usually have a Saturday with nothing to do and only one baby in the house!

Nic’s parent’s have Ben for the whole weekend, and so far, our Saturday has been amazingly mischief-free! We went to Home Depot and window-shopped for blinds, power-washers, central vac accessories, lighting fixtures, and deck repair gear, had a nice quiet (and classy!) McDonald’s breakfast — until the college students rolled out of bed and all the bro-dawgs showed up with last night’s conquests in tow, still wearing their, now-disheveled, clubbing clothes.

At one point, a couple of young people came in the front door and went straight to the ketchup dispenser. That seemed odd, but it got even weirder when they left shortly after… leaving the dispenser full of little paper ketchup cups empty. It took us a minute to piece together their alternate use: jello shooters. Who says college students aren’t thrifty?

Its weird to think we were that young and dumb just a few years ago. Amazing how fast life changes. Our big problems these days seem to revolve around baby stuff. Ben and Abi had their first Canadian doctor’s appointments ever yesterday… comparing that experience to their experience in the States is a whole other post, but needless to say, not everything lined up the same. They already have some shots that they wouldn’t have gotten yet in Canada, and they’re missing some shots they should have gotten by now. And in Canada, they mix compatible drugs into one needle, to avoid poking extra holes into babies, but in the States, they keep them seperate so each drug company gets appropriately compensated. This caused quite a bit of confusion when one needle contained 5 drugs, 1 of which Benjamin already had…

Or something like that. Nic and the doctor sorted it out. I gave up when the discussion started to sound like a word problem in math class, and just played with Benjamin to keep him distracted. Both kids have had fevers lately. Ben was back up to almost 104 earlier this week, but got better quickly. Now Abi is spiking near 102… fun stuff.

You know what else is being fun about being a parent? Poop. I’m going to pause here, and allow non-parents to stop reading if they want. Those who want to commiserate with us can hit the jump to keep reading.

So we’ve been checking Abi’s temperature regularly, using the most accurate means we know of: the dreaded butt thermometer. I am not able to do this to our kids, cause I just can’t deal with the process, and the occasional side-effects. Nic is braver than me, and in the interest of managing our daughter’s health, takes care of this task. What she failed to tell me this morning, was that Abi’s apparently been a little backed-up for the past couple days. When she removed the thermometer, after a slightly better reading in the neighbourhood of 101, she opened the floodgates, and left Abi feeling very relieved…

For the next 5 minutes or so, waves of liquid poo flowed out onto the change pad, while we looked on in amazement.
A significant part of being a parent is poo-management — plus we have an indoor cat, so I’d say we spend probably about 15% of any given week dealing with poop. But so much poo in such a short amount of time was amazing — even to us veteran poo-managers.

A quick bath and a couple handfuls of baby wipes took care of that though, and despite her fever and bowel issues, Abi’s been in a great mood. I guess she enjoys all the attention she’s getting without Benjamin around!

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6 thoughts on “Warning: Some parts of this post might be inappropriate for people without children, or the desire to have children

  1. Blasted curiosity. I knew hitting the link for the rest of the story was a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop myself. I never want to see anything like that again. I’m never having children.

  2. OMG! hilarious. poor abbi!!!!!!! LOL, luckily, that has never happened to me. i cant believe some college kids came in to steal the ketchup containers. hilarious,
    i am actually now thinking that ONE kid, just my livi girl , may be enough for me and jason….. but i am also thinking at the same time, that i can NOT be THAT selfish. LOL

    i think we want to come and see you guys in spring!!!!!!

  3. Nasty!!! I was quick to get the digital ear thermometer!! No more butts or armpit temps for my kids! Worth the investment!! 🙂 Massive poop and looking so content about it!

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