Things that bug the crap out of me

I’m not really in a bad mood, but yesterday morning, after getting up at 5:00am, I may have been a little cranky. I collected a few things that bug the crap out of me, and I figured I should report them, in case anyone knows anyone who can fix them for me. I’m convinced the world would be a better place with the following issues resolved…

Radio Morning Shows

I really have nothing against DJs. We’ve had two friends now who were DJs and it seems to be a fun profession. But there are few things in the world that bug me as much as morning shows on the radio.
I want to know what kind of person gets up in the morning and says “You know what would really kick-off my day? A couple babbling idiots laughing at their own jokes!”
There must be a lot of people who think that, because every radio station has a morning show, and they all use the same formula. It involves two people, usually one male and one female, who fill 4-6 hours of air time mostly with their own talking. Sure they play the occasional song, but that’s really just a brief respite from the torture of the show. Of course, no one can daily think of enough interesting material to fill 4-6 hours, so they turn to the most inane, inconsequential minutiae they can find, and drag it out for as long as possible. The worst part for me is that its invariably punctuated with bad jokes, and hyena-like laughter. In what social situation is it appropriate to be the only person laughing at your own joke? None, that’s what. But somehow all radio stations everywhere think this makes a good morning show.

If I owned a radio station, I would fill the first 6 hours of every day with enjoyable, mellow-but-upbeat music to ease my listeners into the day. The average workplace is usually filled with enough self-important windbags to consume the patience of the average citizen. Why should they have to listen to that on the radio on their way in?

Four-way Stops

4-way StopWhy do so few people know how to work a four-way stop? This is not country-dependant. Throughout Canada and the States, traffic is frequently confounded by the four-way stop. Heaven help you if you come to a three-way stop!
You shouldn’t even be given a license unless you can properly describe how the four-way works!
It’s really simple: First in, First out. The first person to arrive at the stop sign is the first person who gets to drive through it. There are no exceptions for people in a hurry, people in big trucks, people in SUVs, people who live in the neighbourhood, or people who think they’re more important than you. If I got there first, I go first!

If two people arrive simultaneously, and their target paths intersect, the person who is to the right goes first. If four people arrive simultaneously, they should each act to clear the intersection most expediently.
They are not that complicated, but I’m frequently stuck behind some gray-haired driver who thinks its polite to let everyone else go first, or nearly hit by some yuppie in an SUV who thinks they always have the right of way. Ticket’s for mis-using a four-way stop should be so expensive that poor drivers can’t afford to go out on the road!

Radar Traps in Bad Weather

Speaking of road safety, can anyone explain this to me?
I’m driving to work on Tuesday morning, at rush hour, in terrible weather. The road is so covered in snow, slush and ice that its barely possible to get your speed up over 30MPH in a 65MPH zone. Traffic is moving steadily, though slowly, when all of a sudden we come up to a State Trooper hiding spot.
Sure enough, there’s a Trooper, sitting there in futility, his radar detector pointed out at the mass of cars, somehow thinking that he’s going to catch a speeder.
What happens instead? Every sleepy commuter, listening to their talk-radio morning shows, instinctively slams on the brakes as soon as they see him. Of course no one is even close to speeding, but out of habit, they react to save themselves a ticket.
The end result is obviously not improved road safety due to the vigilance of the Trooper. Rather traffic begins sliding around the road. One person veers out of their lane to avoid the car in front of them that’s just come to a stop, forcing another car to bail out onto the shoulder. On this particular morning, I didn’t witness an accident, but I’m confident that at least one must have happened at some point during rush hour.

If you ask me, it should be illegal for the police to stake-out highways at rush hour. Even in good weather, traffic rarely gets up to the speed limit anyway, and idiots on the road are usually self-regulating, because they end up in accidents, or they speed the rest of the time and can be caught then. The police only make the road more dangerous by being there, and I can’t understand how that could be covered by the “protect and serve” mandate.

That’s all I can think of, how about you?

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