All babies cry — it’s one of the main ways they communicate. But some babies cry more than others do. And some, although they’re healthy, well-fed and well cared for, seem to cry inconsolably. If your baby cries about the same time each day and nothing you do seems to comfort him or her, your baby may have colic.

Uh-oh…

Predictable, recurring crying episodes. A colicky baby cries around the same time each day, usually in the late afternoon or evening. Colic episodes may last anywhere from a few minutes to three hours or more on any given day, although babies with colic are likely to cry as long as two to three hours several days a week. The crying usually begins suddenly and for no clear reason.

Activity. Many colicky babies draw their legs onto their abdomens, clench their fists, tense their abdominal muscles, or thrash around and appear to be in pain during these crying episodes.

Intense or inconsolable crying. Colic crying is intense, not weak or sickly. Your baby’s face will likely be flushed, and he or she will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to comfort.

That sounds familiar…

Hold your baby. Cuddling helps some babies. Other infants quiet when they’re held closely and swaddled in blankets. Don’t wrap your baby too warmly at bedtime though — sometimes colicky babies wake up because they’re too warm. Most of all, don’t take it personally if your baby doesn’t always seem to want to be held.

Keep your baby in motion. Gently rock your baby in your arms or in an infant swing. Or lay your baby tummy down on your knees and then sway your knees slowly. Take a walk with your baby, or go for a drive with your baby in an infant car seat.

Try constant background sound. Some infants with colic cry less when they hear a background sound that stays at a low, steady volume. When holding or rocking your baby, try making a continuous “shssss” sound. Other tricks to try include running a vacuum cleaner, turning on a kitchen or bathroom exhaust fan, or buckling your infant in a car seat placed next to a running clothes dryer.

Well I guess that explains a lot…

Colic usually starts a few weeks after birth, peaks at about 6 weeks of age and usually improves markedly by your baby’s third to fifth month.

5th month?! Here’s hoping the vacuum lasts that long…

Update in 2021 for other parents trying to survive: This Primed Parent post has a guide on colic.

Family Force 5: How have I not heard this band before?
They’re hilarious, they rock and they’re Christian! Awesome…
From the song “Replace Me”
Desperation
Needing you
Every last breath
I scream for you
Shatter me into a million pieces…Make me new
Crush me, tear me, break me, mold me
Make me what you want me to be
I am ur’s for you to use
so, Take and Replace me with U